Billionaire Birthday Blowout

LON-NEL BIRTHDAY BANGER 🔥🎤 (To the tune of a chaotic trap beat mixed with "Happy Birthday" horns — imagine Cardi ad-libbing, Rihanna purring, and Oprah dropping wisdom bombs) Intro (Cardi B voice, screaming): "AYYY YO LON-NEL! It's your fuckin' birthday, you lucky dusty king! We all here for you, papi!" Chorus: Happy Birthday, Lon-nel, you wild billionaire mess! Oprah's your wife, she just bought you a jet! Cardi and Rihanna fighting over your chest, "Pick me, pick me!" — nah, he taking all the rest! Lon-nel, Lon-nel, living every man's dream, Gray hairs popping but you still supreme! Blow them candles before the mansion burns down, You're the luckiest fool in this whole damn town!

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Lyrics

Happy Birthday, Lon-nel, you wild billionaire mess! Oprah's your wife, she just bought you a jet! Cardi and Rihanna fighting over your chest, "Pick me, pick me!" — nah, he taking all the rest! Lon-nel, Lon-nel, living every man's dream, Gray hairs popping but you still supreme! Blow them candles before the mansion burns down, You're the luckiest fool in this whole damn town! Verse 1: Wake up, Lon-nel, Oprah whispering in your ear, "Baby, I got you a network and a new career." But then Cardi bursts in with the twerk and the drama, "Move over Oprah, this ass is for my baba!" Rihanna sliding through in Fenty lingerie, Pouring champagne while she sings "Work... on me today!" You sitting there like "How the hell did I pull this?" Forgot your own age but you pulled three goddesses! Chorus: Happy Birthday, Lon-nel, you wild billionaire mess! Oprah's your wife, she just bought you a jet! Cardi and Rihanna fighting over your chest, "Pick me, pick me!" — nah, he taking all the rest! Verse 2: Oprah got the book club reading your life story, Chapter 47: "How I bagged Cardi and Rih-Rih's glory." Cardi yelling "Offset who? Lon-nel got the sauce!" Rihanna stealing your credit card for a new clothing drop. Your back hurting from all the love and the drama, But you grinning big like "Best birthday ever, mama!" They fighting over who gets the first slice of cake, Oprah mediating: "Girls, there's enough Lon-nel to go 'round the lake!" Bridge (Rihanna smooth voice + Cardi interrupting): Rihanna: "Lon-nel, you my diamond in the rough..." Cardi: "Bitch please, he MY rough in the diamond — BACK UP!" Oprah: "Now ladies, let's manifest more cake and less fighting..." Lon-nel: "Y'all quiet down, I'm tryna nap through my midlife crisis!" Final Verse (everybody yelling): So here's to you, Lon-nel, the king with the harem, Wife Oprah, side chicks popping like a ferris wheel at the fair 'em! One more year older, still pulling A-listers, Your secret? Probably that dad joke delivery, mister! Eat the whole cake, ignore the doctor’s advice, With this lineup you already won at life — twice! Outro (all together, off-key): HAPPY BIRTHDAY LON-NEL! You absolute chaotic legend! Oprah, Cardi, Rihanna — the ultimate flex, We love you more than your ego... more or less!

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