Daddy

Lyrics

“WAS I NOT ENOUGH, DADDY?” Gritty country-rock pain song • Slow piano • Acoustic guitar • Electric guitar • Violin • Heavy drums Original lyrics with raw, confessional country-rock emotion. [Intro — Soft piano, whispered vocals] (Yeah…) Daddy… I got a question I been scared to ask… Why was loving me so hard? Was I a son you never wanted… Or just a heart you never learned to guard? (Ohhh, Daddy…) [Verse 1 — Low, broken vocals] Daddy, why didn't you ever love me? Was I just another burden on your back? I spent my whole life hoping you'd be proud of me, Still waiting on a love I never had. I watched you give the world to everybody, While I was standing in the shadows feeling small. I would've given anything to hear you say, “Son, I'm proud of you,” just once before it all. I blamed myself for every time you left me, Thought if I changed, you'd finally let me in. I kept on fighting for a place inside your heart, But I don't know if I was ever in it. [Pre-Chorus — Guitar slowly building] And I still hear that little boy crying, Asking what he did so wrong. Trying to understand why his own daddy Could watch him hurt for so damn long. [Chorus — Full drums, raspy vocals] Daddy, why didn't you ever love me? Was I not enough to make you stay? Was I not worth fighting for, Daddy? Why'd you make me feel that way? I would've walked through fire just to know you, Would've broke my back to make you proud. Now I'm grown, but that little boy still wonders Why his daddy never chose him out the crowd. (Ohhh, Daddy…) Was I not enough? Or was loving me just something you couldn't figure out? [Verse 2 — Acoustic guitar, raw delivery] I learned to hide my hurt behind a hard face, Turned my tears to anger, pain into pride. Started looking for your love in all the wrong places, Trying to fill a hole I kept buried inside. Maybe that's why I got lost along the way, Trying to prove to everybody I was worth something. I was fighting all these demons in the darkness, Still wishing you would tell me I was someone. And I hate that I still need you, Hate that your opinion cuts so deep. You could tell me I ain't worth a damn, And I'd still lose another night of sleep. Funny how a man can grow up, have his own kids, Swear he'll never make them feel alone, But the little boy inside him's still back there, Waiting on his daddy to come home. [Pre-Chorus — Violin enters] And I don't know if you ever think about me, Or if you know the damage that you've done. I wasn't asking you to be a perfect father… I just wanted to feel like I was your son. [Chorus — Bigger, strained vocals] Daddy, why didn't you ever love me? Was I not enough to make you stay? Was I not worth fighting for, Daddy? Why'd you make me feel that way? I would've walked through fire just to know you, Would've broke my back to make you proud. Now I'm grown, but that little boy still wonders Why his daddy never chose him out the crowd. (Tell me why… tell me why…) Was I not enough? Or was loving me just something you couldn't figure out? [Bridge — Drums drop, piano and violin only] (Whispered) Daddy… Do you know how many nights I cried? How many times I needed you And told the world that I was fine? Do you know I blamed myself For things a child should never bear? I kept pretending I didn't need you… But I needed you to care. I NEEDED YOU TO CARE! I needed one hug… One call… One reason not to feel so damn small. I needed you to fight for me, Like I was worth the fight. Instead, I learned to hate myself Trying to earn your love my whole life. (Voice cracking) And if I ever have to bury you, There's so much I won't get to say… I'll have a thousand questions in that dirt, And no answers when they lay you away. Will I finally get to tell you that you hurt me? Will you finally hear me when I cry? Or will I spend the rest of my life wondering Why your love was something I couldn't buy? [Final Chorus — Explosive country-rock drums, electric guitar and violin] DADDY, WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER LOVE ME?! WAS I NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU STAY?! WAS I NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR, DADDY?! WHY'D YOU THROW MY HEART AWAY?! I would've given anything to know you, Just to hear you say you loved your boy. But you left me with a lifetime full of questions And a heart that never learned to feel the joy. (Background vocals: “Was I not enough? Was I not enough?”) I'm still that little boy who's waiting, Still hoping you might turn around. Still wishing you'd come find me, Still praying you'd put your pride down. Daddy… I was just a kid. I didn't know what I did wrong. I just wanted you to love me… Why'd it take my whole life long? [Outro — Piano fades, voice nearly breaking] Daddy… I don't hate you… I just hate the way I learned to hate myself Because I thought you hated me. (Long pause) I wasn't asking you to save the world… I just wanted you to save a little piece of me. (Whispered, fading away) Was I not enough, Daddy? Was I not worth fighting for? (Piano plays alone… final violin note fades.)