Rick & Brian Doorway

1950s rhythm and blues soul revue, jaunty shuffle groove, punchy walking upright bass, handclaps, crisp snare and ride, bright tenor sax and brassy piano stabs, call-and-response backing vocals, charismatic baritone lead with comic swagger, warm tape saturation and close mono club-room mix; lively verses with stop-time punchlines, a big singalong refrain, brief sax turnaround, and a cheeky button ending

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Lyrics

[Intro] Well, gather round, now, clear the floor, Rick and Brian just came through the door! [Verse 1] Rick Osen’s got a grin like he owns the whole town, Brian Fichtner’s right beside him, turning trouble upside down. Rick Mathews brought his big talk, strutted in so proud, Then Rick and Brian stole the punchline and the whole room laughed out loud. [Chorus] Big Dick Rick! (That’s what they call him!) Brian Fichtner! (Right there beside him!) Rick and Brian, strutting through the night, Making all that bragging look a little less bright! [Verse 2] Jorgen Kvick packed his bags for Winchester one day, Said, “I’ve had enough of this racket—I’m heading right away!” They called him the Handicap King; the room went still a beat, Then he tipped his hat and took the train, with a rhythm in his feet. [Chorus] Big Dick Rick! (That’s what they call him!) Brian Fichtner! (Right there beside him!) Rick and Brian, strutting through the night, Making all that bragging look a little less bright! [Bridge] They’re stepping on necks—now, that’s just a figure of speech, Two loud jokers making big boasts from the edge of the beach! Rick says, “I’m the champion!” Brian says, “You bet!” Then they trip on their own shoelaces—best show in town yet! [Final Chorus] Big Dick Rick! (The crowd keeps hollering!) Brian Fichtner! (The band keeps rolling!) Rick Osen laughing, all the way to the light, Rick and Brian, kings of the joke tonight! [Outro] Winchester bound, hear that whistle blow, Rick and Brian wave goodbye—what a silly show!

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