Socialite Socrates

Lyrics

[Intro] There she is, holding court by the ice sculpture Gold-leaf vowels and a gaze that could invoice ya [Verse 1] She arrived in a gown with a thesis attached Three pearls on her wrist and a worldview to match Said, “Darling, the secret is discipline and grace” While a footman chased her dachshund through the hors d'oeuvre place She raised up a flute and announced to the room “Want enlightenment? Start by improving your bloom” Then she quoted herself from a book she had penned With a foreword, two editors, and no known friends [Pre-Chorus] She’s got a certificate for every occasion A private little school of self-congratulation I nod like a saint, but inside I confess This room has been conquered by Socialite Socrates [Chorus] Socialite Socrates, preaching at the feast Telling every millionaire how to be released “Give up your worldly ways,” she says, adjusting her tiara Then she orders truffle fries from a yacht in Cartagena Socialite Socrates, hear the people cheer They’re only clapping softly so she’ll disappear She’s got one more master’s and a crystal-clear belief That the road to enlightenment is paved in disbelief [Verse 2] She says, “Possessions are chains, so be free like me” Then checks if her new driver has valet VIP Her meditation app costs more than my rent And her guru takes Amex with a ten percent event She told the hedge-fund crowd, “You must simplify” From a twelve-course tasting menu beneath a drone-lit sky She said, “Ego is an illness; let compassion commence” Then cut in front of the widow to defend her own sense [Pre-Chorus] She’s got a podcast, a panel, a monogrammed retreat A Sanskrit throw pillow and a very firm seat I whisper to the waiter, “Please refill my glass” He says, “Only if she lets the philosophy pass” [Chorus] Socialite Socrates, preaching at the feast Telling every millionaire how to be released “Give up your worldly ways,” she says, adjusting her tiara Then she orders truffle fries from a yacht in Cartagena Socialite Socrates, hear the people cheer They’re only clapping softly so she’ll disappear She’s got one more master’s and a crystal-clear belief That the road to enlightenment is paved in disbelief [Bridge] Oh, Socrates, Socrates, spare us the degree You can’t lecture on humility from a chauffeured SUV Your truth has a trust fund, your wisdom has a gate And your spiritual awakening came fashionably late [Breakdown] She says, “Be present!” — present in the penthouse “Release desire!” — release the champagne now “Know thyself!” — she pauses for applause Then asks the photographer which side is her best cause [Final Chorus] Socialite Socrates, preaching at the feast Telling every millionaire how to be released “Follow my philosophy, you’ll finally be whole” She’s got twelve advanced degrees and not a single clue to show Socialite Socrates, your sermon’s almost done The band is playing louder and the caterers have run She’s delusional, delightful, dressed to over-impress Long live the queen of self-help—Socialite Socrates [Outro] Socialite Socrates, take a bow, take a seat Leave a little room for wisdom—and the people trying to eat Socialite Socrates Bless her heart, she means well, I guess Socialite Socrates