Distance

Lyrics

[Intro — Low voice, guitar picking slowly] I been fighting with myself, ain't nobody see the bruises… They keep asking why I'm distant, I got reasons I ain't using… I been praying for a breakthrough, feeling like my prayers are losing… If my mind was a courtroom, I'd be guilty of my own confusion… [Chorus — Melodic, drawn-out vocals] I'm so tired of being strong, who gon' hold me when I break? I been smiling through the storm, got a flood behind my face, Put my heart inside a vault, still got hurt I couldn't save, I'm a prisoner of my thoughts, doing life without a cage. Oh-oh, I been drowning in my head, can't find the shore, Every time I heal a wound, life come and open up some more, I gave everybody keys, now I'm locked outside the door, They keep asking me for love, I ain't got none left in store. Tell me, who gon' wipe my tears when I'm the shoulder they lean on? Who gon' keep my lights on when my inner sunshine gone? I've been fighting with depression, I been fighting way too long, Got a choir in my head singing everything that's wrong. [Verse 1 — Tighter punchlines, internal rhyme] My mind a loaded courtroom, every thought got a case, My past a prosecution, every memory got a face, I keep running from my demons, they got nowhere else to chase, 'Cause the enemy I'm running from is looking through my face. I got trust issues so deep, even mirrors look suspicious, Turned my heart into a bank, now withdrawals come with interest, Everybody want the old me, they don't know what it took to kill it, I was bleeding in the basement, they just complimented the ceiling. I got pain behind my pupils, got regret behind my grin, I keep locking all my feelings, wonder why I can't fit in, Built a wall around my heart, now I'm the one that's trapped within, Made a home out of survival, forgot what it meant to live. I give advice on healing with a heart that need a medic, I can see the lies in love, but miss the truth when I'm the subject. Got a PhD in heartbreak, every lesson came expensive, I can read a room of people, can't interpret my depression. I been broke in ways a dollar couldn't ever help repair, Had a thousand people near me, still felt nobody was there, It's hard explaining silent wars when nobody see the flare, I been suffocating mentally in rooms full of air. [Pre-Chorus — Voice starts cracking] And I don't wanna die inside while everybody thinks I'm living, I've been giving out my last and wondering why I'm feeling empty, I keep asking God for answers, all I hear is my reflection, Maybe heaven got my messages… I'm just lost in the connection. [Chorus — Bigger melody, high notes] I'm so tired of being strong, who gon' hold me when I break? I been smiling through the storm, got a flood behind my face, Put my heart inside a vault, still got hurt I couldn't save, I'm a prisoner of my thoughts, doing life without a cage. Oh-oh, I been drowning in my head, can't find the shore, Every time I heal a wound, life come and open up some more, I gave everybody keys, now I'm locked outside the door, They keep asking me for love, I ain't got none left in store. (Ad-libs: “Oh, no… tell me who gon' save me? / I'm tired… I'm tired…”) [Verse 2 — More technical wordplay, emotional delivery] Depression got a dictionary, every word spell defeat, It turn victories to accidents and blessings into grief, Got me questioning my value when there's food up on my plate, 'Cause you can have a full stomach and still starve for better days. My ambition on life support, my motivation in a cast, I keep trying to build a future with the bricks I took from my past, They say time is money, why these seconds moving fast? I'm spending every minute trying to make the hurt not last. I got baggage from my childhood, never checked it at the gate, Now my present pay the shipping for the things I couldn't change, I keep asking for a break, life keep breaking me in shape, Guess the pressure made a diamond, but forgot to ease the pain. I been so good at playing strong, I made weakness look like fiction, Turned my trauma into armor, now I'm bleeding through the stitching. I keep searching for a sign while ignoring my intuition, Asked for peace, got confrontation—maybe healing needs permission. I got scars beneath the surface that no photograph could show, Got a heart full of good intentions and a mind that won't let go, I keep planting seeds of hope where all my darkest feelings grow, How I'm supposed to trust the sunshine when I've only learned the cold? And the hardest part of pain is how it changes your perspective, You can question every blessing when your mind keeps showing negatives, I ain't asking to be perfect, I just want to feel connected, I'm exhausted from pretending that my hurting is irrelevant. [Bridge — Guitar only, high emotional vocals] Ohhh, tell me, God, can You hear me now? I've been calling from the valley, I can't see my way out… I got tears I never cried, got some words I never said,