Billy, Quit Honking

Lyrics

[Verse 1] The gate swung wide at quarter past four Six brown cows went charging for the county road Mama yelled, “Grab a bucket!” Dad grabbed his boots I grabbed the feed sack and Billy hit the horn [Pre-Chorus] He leaned on that button like rent was due Every steer looked up like, “What’d we do?” [Chorus] Billy, quit honking, we know they’re in the lane They’re headed for the mailbox, not a downtown train Wave your arms, block the ditch, keep your pickup slow Billy, quit honking, you’re the loudest cow we know [Verse 2] One calf stopped beside the pharmacy sign Two crossed the bridge in a crooked line Old Bessie took a left by the barbecue stand While Billy’s horn kept barking like a one-man band [Pre-Chorus] He shouted, “People are gonna die!” Bessie just blinked and chewed rye [Chorus] Billy, quit honking, we know they’re in the lane They’re headed for the mailbox, not a downtown train Wave your arms, block the ditch, keep your pickup slow Billy, quit honking, you’re the loudest cow we know [Bridge] We lured them home with apples and a five-gallon pail Billy followed close behind, still telling the tale The sheriff wrote a warning, Dad fixed the rusty chain And Billy bought a horn relay so he could honk again [Instrumental Break] [Final Chorus] Billy, quit honking, the danger’s finally through The cows are back behind the fence, and so are you Wave goodbye, shut it down, let the quiet grow Billy, quit honking—save that horn for the rodeo [Outro] Moo in the pasture, dust along the road Billy’s little pickup finds another load He sees one chicken crossing and starts the whole show Billy, quit honking—save that horn for the rodeo