What a Checkup

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Eric and Jack went in on Tuesday, For a checkup, nothing more. Peter Oftedahl held the clipboard, Jon Buchanan closed the door. The waiting room had peeling paint, A clock that wouldn’t move; They traded jokes to hide their nerves, And tried to keep their cool. [Chorus] Oh, what a checkup, what a turn, Two proud hearts with a lesson learned. They walked in tall, walked out sore, Those doctors had them beat for sure. Eric and Jack, they took the fall, But one old score outlasted all: The boys went down, the room went still— His ex-wife won, and she won big. [Verse 2] They signed their names in shaky ink, The doc said, “This won’t take long.” Jack looked over at Eric twice, Both knew something felt all wrong. By closing time their swagger slipped, Their big talk hit the floor; They’d come in thinking they were kings, Left wondering what they came for. [Chorus] Oh, what a checkup, what a turn, Two proud hearts with a lesson learned. They walked in tall, walked out sore, Those doctors had them beat for sure. Eric and Jack, they took the fall, But one old score outlasted all: The boys went down, the room went still— His ex-wife won, and she won big. [Bridge] Now the story travels table to table, With a rueful grin and a raised-up brow; Some folks lose when the papers are signed, Some folks find out exactly how. [Final Chorus] Oh, what a checkup, what a turn, Two proud hearts with a lesson learned. They walked in tall, walked out sore, Those doctors had them beat for sure. Eric and Jack, they took the fall, But one old score outlasted all: They lost that round, but here’s the thrill— His ex-wife won, and she won big! [Outro] Eric and Jack went home that night, A little less sure, a little more wise. And somewhere his ex-wife raised a glass— She won at last, she won at last.