awerysopelea - Ways That Looked Like Love

Lyrics

[Cold Open] I learned to disappear in ways that looked like love. [Verse 1] I knew the sound of your keys before they reached the lock. I measured every sentence by the look across your face. I stopped bringing home my stories that made the room feel too alive. I called it being easy. I called it keeping us alive. [Hook] I learned to disappear in ways that looked like love. I made myself smaller till you called me enough. You said I was so easy; I thought that meant I healed. I learned to disappear until the mirror stopped looking real. [Verse 2] I knew which kind of silence meant I still had time to leave. I apologized for needing what you called too much to give. When you said, “You’re not yourself,” I laughed: “I’m just tired.” I kept the peace so perfectly, I forgot how to be alive. [French Scene – La belle version] Je me suis tue pour que tu restes, j’ai souri quand j’avais peur. J’ai caché ma colère pour faire de la place à ton cœur. Je disais : « Tout va bien, mon amour, » même quand je ne savais plus qui j’étais. J’ai perdu ma voix dans tes bras— et j’ai appelé ça l’amour. [Hard Cut] No. That was survival. [After the Cut] The silence isn’t empty. It keeps the shape of you. A jacket on the kitchen chair. A cup I never use. I found my old voice waiting under receipts beside the keys. It didn’t sound brave or beautiful. It only sounded like me. [Return] I don’t know how to reappear without becoming hard. Some days I miss the cage because at least I knew the bars. Some days I say my own name and wait for it to feel true. I am not healed. I am only done with disappearing to be loved by you. [Final Hook] I am learning to reappear, though it doesn’t look like love. I leave the light on for myself— I don’t know if that’s enough. You said I was so easy; now I know what easy cost. I learned to disappear. I am still here. I am still lost. [French Coda] Je ne suis pas guérie. Je suis encore là.