Blue Micra Boogie

Lyrics

🎤 “Gemma’s Off Her Fucking Head!” An upbeat, cheeky pub-rock anthem for the one and only Gemma from Lion Quays! Style: Rocking party anthem with a bit of country, a big chorus, and plenty of attitude! 🎸 Verse 1 – From Rochdale to Whitchurch Gemma was born in Rochdale, that’s where it all began, Then she moved to Crewe with a master fucking plan. Now she’s living in Whitchurch, causing chaos every day, In her blue Nissan Micra, she’s a hazard on the way! She loves her bloody dresses, she likes to look the part, But underneath that pretty frock, she’s got a crazy heart. She’s bounced through thirty jobs or more, before she found her place, Now Lion Quays at Oswestry gets the full Gemma showcase! 🎶 Chorus – Gemma, Gemma, What a Nutcase! Oh, Gemma, Gemma, you’re a fucking one-off star, You can talk for England, whether near or whether far! You’re bouncing off the ceiling, you’re the queen of crazy town, If there’s trouble to be started, you’ll be the one they crown! Oh, Gemma! (Oi, Oi!) What a bloody scene! The maddest little whirlwind that the world has ever seen! From Rochdale down to Whitchurch, there’s no stopping that machine, She’s the top of the crazy scale — the wildest fucking queen! 🍻 Verse 2 – Ian and Jake, Beware! Now Ian and Jake at work, they think they’re safe and sound, Till Gemma starts her sex-life chat and turns their world around! She tells them all the details, leaves them staring at the floor, And just when they think she’s finished, she’s got another story more! She’s got a love life like a soap opera, with twists in every scene, A romantic rollercoaster that’s outrageous, wild and keen. Ian’s looking at the ceiling, Jake is wishing he could flee, But Gemma’s still explaining things they never asked to see! 🎤 Chorus Oh, Gemma, Gemma, you’re a fucking one-off star, You can talk for England, whether near or whether far! You’re bouncing off the ceiling, you’re the queen of crazy town, If there’s trouble to be started, you’ll be the one they crown! Oh, Gemma! (Oi, Oi!) What a bloody scene! The maddest little whirlwind that the world has ever seen! With a dress for every occasion and a story evergreen, She’s the top of the crazy scale — the wildest fucking queen! 📦 Verse 3 – The Top Seed Packer! Before the Quays came calling, she was packing seeds like a pro, A top seed packer back in the day, with plenty more to go! Thirty jobs behind her, she's tried almost everything, If there’s a job she hasn't done, just give her a bell and ring! She wants to do it all, you see, she never takes a break, She's got a hundred plans in motion before you've had your cake. She’s got energy for seven people, and a mouth that never rests, And when Gemma says, “I've got a story,” you know you're in for the best! 🎸 Bridge – The Gemma Guarantee One blue Micra, four wheels spinning, One mad love life, always winning! Dressed to kill and full of chat, Thirty jobs — imagine that! From Rochdale roots to Crewe's old streets, Now Whitchurch is where the madness meets. At Lion Quays she rules the floor, And when she starts, you can't ignore! Ian's gone quiet, Jake's turned red, Gemma's still got ten more things to be said! She's loud, she's proud, she's full of beans, The undisputed queen of outrageous scenes! 🎶 Final Chorus – Everybody Sing! GEMMA! GEMMA! WHAT A FUCKING LEGEND! Thirty jobs and a love life trending! Bouncing around like a lunatic queen, The maddest woman Oswestry's ever seen! GEMMA! GEMMA! NEVER SHUTS UP! Fill her a glass and top it up! Dresses, drama, Micra in blue, There's nobody else in the world quite like you! From Rochdale to Crewe, now Whitchurch is home, At Lion Quays she's never alone. She's a top seed packer, a whirlwind machine, GEMMA, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING QUEEN! (Guitar solo — Ian and Jake slowly backing out of the room…) Spoken outro: “Gemma, love… we've got one tiny question.” “What?” “Can we PLEASE have five minutes' peace?” “OH MY GOD, THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME…” 🔥 Verse 4 – Damo, Tinder & Harrison! Gemma’s got a thing for Damo, he’s always on her mind, She’s obsessed with that bloke, and she’s leaving no one behind! She’s swiping left and swiping right on Tinder every night, Looking for her next adventure and a bloke who takes her fancy right! Then Harrison pipes up cheekily, “I’ve got an offer you might like!” He’s offered to bend her over — well, he’s certainly feeling bright! Ian and Jake are scarpering, they’ve heard more than enough, While Gemma’s laughing, telling tales, and calling everyone’s bluff! 🎶 New Chorus – Tinder Queen! Oh, Gemma, Gemma, Tinder’s calling your name! Damo’s got you obsessed, girl, you’re playing a dangerous game! Harrison’s made his offer, and you’ve got the whole place red, While Ian and Jake are praying they could work somewhere else instead! Swipe right, swipe left, another story to be told, Gemma’s love-life drama never ever gets old! At Lion Quays she’s legendary, the craziest we’ve seen, The Tinder-loving, Damo-chasing, queen