Three Kidneys and a Full House

Lyrics

Verse– Spoken, with a Southern drawl] Well, there's a girl named Emma, And she's a medical mystery. Three kidneys, one borrowed pancreas, And a mouth that belongs in a penitentiary. Happy transplant anniversary, darlin'! [Verse 1] Emma's got a puzzle spread across the floor, A coloring book and a hospital bill she ignores. She's spent more nights in a hospital bed, Than Steve's spent on Hinge since he swore that app was dead. Two years deactivated, but that man's still swipin', And Emma's got new organs that are barely done pipin'. Two kidneys are a party, but three's a damn crowd, She's got more working parts than the law should allow! And there's a question that nobody quite knows, Do those new organs love the blow as much as her nose? Her pancreas said, "Jesus, is this what I signed up for?" And her third kidney hollered, "Don't drag me into more!" [Chorus – Big, rowdy country hook] Oh, Emma's got three kidneys and a full house, A heart of gold and a hell of a mouth! She's wild as whiskey, sweet as sin, Got a second shot at life and she's all in! She's the queen of hearts with a filthy deck, Life tried to break her, but she ain't done yet. She's a little bit heaven, a whole lotta hell, And she's got some stories the doctors won't tell! [Verse 2] There's Milo on the sofa, Mowgli on the throne, And her daddy's just in a picture, but he's always home. She saves him a chair when it's time to play cards, Then cracks a dead-dad joke that hits everybody hard. She'll say, "Dad's been pretty quiet, guess he's losing again," And deal another hand like he's still sitting with friends. He's probably up in heaven with a drink and a grin, Saying, "That girl's got my humor, now deal me back in!" But when the sun goes down, she's a different breed, A shadow in the hallway is all the proof she needs. Jeddington walked through a doorway, doing nothing wrong, She damn near called the cops before the man was gone! [Pre-Chorus] Amelia thinks she's magic, looks up to her so much, And Dominic's got a crush, the boy's completely struck. She's funny, smart, and kind beneath that dirty little grin, Even when she can't see all the goodness living within. [Chorus] Oh, Emma's got three kidneys and a full house, A heart of gold and a hell of a mouth! She's wild as whiskey, sweet as sin, Got a second shot at life and she's all in! She's got a dad who's dealt in from the other side, A dog, a cat, and a hell of a ride. She might scare easy when the lights go low, But she's tougher than the whole damn world knows! [Verse 3 – Playful, relaxed] Some days she and her best friend are two bags of shit, Sitting around doing absolutely nothing with it. Talking about nothing, then talking some more, Laughing so hard they're nearly on the floor. No fancy plans, no reason to leave, Just a couple of disasters with nowhere to be. They'll solve all life's problems, then screw up the math, And spend half the afternoon just laughing their ass off. It's the little things that make a friendship stick, The stupid conversations and the sarcastic shit. And if Emma's best friend had one wish to spend, It'd be a million more days doing nothing with her friend. [Bridge – Stripped-down acoustic, heartfelt] But somewhere beyond the laughter, Behind the scars she doesn't show, There's a story of a precious gift, And someone she'll never fully know. A kidney and a pancreas, A chance to see another dawn. A gift that gave her more tomorrows, When so much could've been gone. And her best friend carries gratitude, For the person who gave her life another start. Because every laugh and ordinary afternoon, Is worth more than the whole damn world apart. She's more than hospital bracelets, More than everything she's survived. She's hilarious, brilliant, and beautifully kind, And thank God that girl's alive. [Final Chorus – Full band, triumphant] OH, EMMA'S GOT THREE KIDNEYS AND A FULL HOUSE! A heart of gold and a hell of a mouth! She's been through hell, but she's standing tall, Still laughing at the world through it all! Here's to Milo, Mowgli, and her daddy's chair, Her puzzles and colors scattered everywhere. Here's to the friend who won't leave her side, And a million more nights laughing 'til they cry! [Outro – Warm, playful country vocals] She deserves every good thing life can bring, Every little joy, every reason to sing. And somewhere her daddy's holding one more hand, Saving her a seat in a better land. But there's plenty more living for that girl to do, A whole lot of trouble to get herself into. So happy anniversary to that three-kidney queen... Now somebody tell Jeddington to quit walking through doors.