The Year I Built Alone

Lyrics

[INTRO — BROKEN WHISPER, SOFT PIANO] You know what hurts the most? It ain’t that everybody turned their back on me It’s that even after they did… I still turned around and helped them build (Pause) I gave people pieces of myself Knowing they wouldn’t do the same for me And somehow… I’m still the one they call selfish (Deep breath) Yeah… Let me tell you something [VERSE 1 — EMOTIONAL STORYTELLING, QUIET RAP] Five years old, had my fingers on the keys Mama saw a future I was still too young to see Three years later, I was making melodies Trying to find a little peace in everything surrounding me From the harp to the strings, from the bass to the brass Learned to turn a moment into something that could last Marching with the band, hearing thousands in the stands But the music never taught me how to trust another man See, I learned how to give before I learned how to receive Learned to stand beside some people who would never stand with me I was building up their confidence while questioning my worth Putting everybody first until I couldn’t recognize the hurt I ain’t saying I was perfect, I got demons of my own Made mistakes and said some things I wish I’d never let be known But when everybody left me, I was standing there alone Still answering the phone for people who ain’t calling to check home And that shit will really change you Make you question what is real When the people that you fought for Don’t give a fuck about how you feel [PRE-CHORUS — SOULFUL R&B, VOICE CRACKING] I gave my heart away To people who wouldn’t stay I held the door wide open While they walked the other way And even when they broke me I still helped them find their feet How the hell you turn your back On someone who helped you believe? [CHORUS — EXPLOSIVE, MELODIC R&B] I BUILT ME! While I was building everybody else! They turned their backs on me I still showed up when they needed help! I BUILT ME! With nobody there to catch me when I fell! I gave ’em pieces of my heart Till I had nothing for myself! Oh-oh-oh, I BUILT ME! They walked away, I stayed! Oh-oh-oh, I BUILT ME! Still gave ’em what they never gave! They can hate me, they can leave They can turn their backs on me But they can’t erase the truth I BUILT THEM WHILE I BUILT ME! [VERSE 2 — AGGRESSIVE RAP, HARD 808S] LOOK! I was security before I ever had a title First Director, had to learn that being loyal’s about survival Left and came back, CEO, I carried what was broken Trying to build a better future out of promises unspoken And I gave people chances when they didn’t fucking earn ’em Stood beside the same ones who were waiting for my downfall I was lighting up their pathways while my own was getting darker Trying to keep the whole thing standing when I barely had my armor Tell me how you call me selfish when I gave you what I had? How you claim I never cared when I was there through all the bad? How you paint me as the villain when I helped you make a name? Then you turn around and act like I was never in the frame! (Pause — Beat Cuts) And that hurt Not because I needed credit But because I thought the love was real (Beat Returns) I ain’t asking for a trophy, I ain’t asking you to bow I just wanted you to mean the shit you said when I was down I was helping you reach heights I hadn’t even reached myself Now I’m standing on the mountain trying to recognize myself! Xpollo tried to reason, X was screaming in my mind One was searching for forgiveness, one was tired of being kind I ain’t proud of all the anger, but I know where it began When the ones I would’ve died for wouldn’t even lend a hand! [PRE-CHORUS — PAINFUL MELODIC SINGING] I gave my heart away To people who wouldn’t stay I kept their dreams from breaking While my own were slipping away And I don’t need a thank you I just wish that you could see I was fighting wars for everybody While nobody fought for me [CHORUS — FULL HARMONIES, INTENSE] I BUILT ME! While I was building everybody else! They turned their backs on me I still showed up when they needed help! I BUILT ME! With nobody there to catch me when I fell! I gave ’em pieces of my heart Till I had nothing for myself! Oh-oh-oh, I BUILT ME! They walked away, I stayed! Oh-oh-oh, I BUILT ME! Still gave ’em what they never gave! They can hate me, they can leave They can turn their backs on me But they can’t erase the truth I BUILT THEM WHILE I BUILT ME! [BRIDGE — PIANO ONLY, TEARFUL SPOKEN VOCALS] You wanna know the worst part? I’d probably help them again (Pause) And maybe that’s my problem I know what it’s like to feel like nobody believes in you I know what it’s like to feel disposable So when I see somebody trying to become something… I don’t wanna be the reason they give up Even if they gave up on me (Long pause) But I’m learning something now I can want you to win… Without letting you destroy me to get there [OUTRO]