John's Gapvax

Lyrics

[Verse 1] John came strutting down the county line, Said, “My new Gapvax truck is mighty fine.” Chrome on the grill and a fresh coat of blue, He told the whole town what that rig could do. [Chorus] Oh, John, you talked so tall, That Gapvax barely made it out at all. Turned the key, heard a cough and a clank, Then the blower blew with a bang-bang-bang! [Verse 2] It rolled off the trailer and sputtered twice, John slapped the hood like he’d paid good price. He hit the switch, gave the throttle a shove, The blower let go with a burst from above. [Chorus] Oh, John, you talked so tall, That Gapvax barely made it out at all. Turned the key, heard a cough and a clank, Then the blower blew with a bang-bang-bang! [Bridge] The neighbors came running, the salesman went pale, John stood there holding a bent fan blade. He said, “Well, boys, it’s got one thing right— It sure made a racket on delivery night!” [Guitar Solo] [Final Chorus] Oh, John, you talked so tall, That Gapvax barely made it out at all. Now it sits by the barn with a warning sign, “Don’t start this thing”—John’s doing fine! Turned the key, heard a cough and a clank, Then the blower blew with a bang-bang-bang! [Outro] John still brags when the story comes round, But he parks that truck with the battery down.