Monday at the Bench Press

Lyrics

SWING ME TO THE GYM The morning light is creeping, My coffee's getting cold, Another day of lifting, Another chance for gold. I look into the mirror, And straighten up my hair, A hundred kilos smiling, And confidence to spare. My sneakers wait beside me, My gym bag's by the door, I've got a little feeling, I'll be lifting something more. The city keeps on sleeping, But I've got plans tonight, A rendezvous with iron, Beneath those neon lights. Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Let the trumpets fill the air, Put another plate upon the bar, I've got muscle everywhere. Let the rhythm shake the ceiling, Let the dumbbells kiss the floor, I'm the gentleman of heavy steel, Always coming back for more. My name is Sascha, darling, Remember it with pride, I've got a little belly, And a powerhouse inside. Some gentlemen play tennis, Some gentlemen play golf, I like to lift a barbell, And occasionally show off. I take my creatine with water, My citrulline with flair, A little beta-alanine, And tingles everywhere. The caffeine starts its magic, My heartbeat finds the beat, I walk into that weight room, Like a king upon the street. The dumbbells start applauding, The cables sing along, The treadmill whispers softly, "Here comes that crazy strong!" Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Let the saxophones go wild, I've been lifting heavy iron, Since I was a younger child. Give me power, give me passion, Give me one more heavy set, If the music keeps on swinging, I ain't finished lifting yet. There's a barbell in the corner, With a hundred eighty pounds? No, kilos, baby, kilos! Hear those glorious iron sounds! I wrap my hands around it, I take a mighty breath, The whole gym turns to watch me, As I challenge gravity's best. One repetition, darling, Then another, nice and slow, The third one feels like thunder, But I've still got two to go. The fourth one shakes the building, The fifth one steals the show, I put the barbell gently down, And whisper, "There you go." The gentleman beside me, He drops his protein shake, He says, "You must be crazy!" I say, "That's what it takes!" Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Let the golden trumpets play, Every kilogram I conquer, Makes a beautiful new day. Let the bassline keep on walking, Let the piano dance with me, I'm not lifting just for muscles, I'm lifting to feel free. Now my shoulders need attention, My chest deserves a song, My triceps want a spotlight, They've been waiting far too long. The bench press looks inviting, I settle down with grace, A little smile upon my lips, Determination on my face. I push the weight toward heaven, The brass begins to roar, My muscles shout, "We're finished!" I reply, "Just one rep more!" The preacher curls are calling, My biceps answer, "Yes!" My shirt begins negotiating, Under all this muscular stress. The mirror seems impressed now, Or maybe that's the light, But either way, my darling, I'm looking good tonight. Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Make the whole damn weight room shine, Put some rhythm in my heartbeat, And some power in my spine. Let the trumpets blow like thunder, Let the drummer lose control, I've got chalk upon my fingers, And a little swing inside my soul. But there's one thing, ladies, gentlemen, That every lifter knows, The moment after leg day, When you cannot feel your toes. You try to climb the staircase, You try to take a seat, You suddenly discover, You've got spaghetti for your feet. The toilet looks like Everest, The sofa seems too low, And every time you sit back down, You shout a little "Whoa!" But pain is just a memory, Of everything you've done, And when the soreness disappears, The next round has begun. Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Let the rhythm carry on, Even when my legs are shaking, And my energy is gone. I've got dreams beyond the mirror, I've got strength beyond the show, Every time I lift that iron, There's another way to grow. Now the treadmill starts complaining, It wants a little time, Eight percent of pure ambition, With a mountain left to climb. I'm walking like a gentleman, But sweating like a beast, And when those twenty minutes end, I'm ready for a feast. Some chicken with my rice, please, Some vegetables on the side, A gluten-free creation, And a mountain full of pride. My darling Melanie is laughing, She says, "You're hungry again?" I say, "My love, I'm building, A magnificent machine!" She looks at all my dinner, And smiles across the room, I say, "That's not a portion, That's the fuel for my next boom!" Oh, swing me to the gym tonight, Let the orchestra explode, I've been carrying these weights around, Like a king upon the road. Give me laughter, give me music, Give me strength to carry through, Every day another chapter, Every lift a something new. And when the lights grow softer, And the final set is done, I think about the battles, And the victories I've won. Not every day is perfect, Not every lift feels right, Sometimes all you have to do, Is simply show