Probation violation

Lyrics

[Intro - spoken, deadpan] Officer, I swear I didn't know she was here ...okay I knew. But I didn't KNOW know [Verse 1 - rap] Got a girl in my house with a warrant on her name Probation violation, she don't feel no shame Every knock at the door, she go diving in the closet Now I'm 'bout to do a bid for some stuff I ain't even caused it Locked up in her room like a hostage situation Only come out for snacks and my WiFi connection Hidin' little baggies in a sock up in the vent And she ain't never once even offered up the rent [Chorus - sung, big and goofy, country twang] She gon' get me locked up, harboring a fugitive She the reason I'm on edge, she the reason I can't live Run off with a dude, leave the kid here with me Then come back Sunday like "hey baby, what's to eat?" Harboring a fugitive, Lord, what did I do Got a cop car in my driveway and a cat in my shoe [Verse 2 - rap] She a two-timer, three-timer, I done lost count Swear she got a boyfriend in every single town Say she going to the store, come back two days later With a hickey and a tan and a brand new tailgater Sneakin' out the window like she seventeen Got the neighbors on the porch watchin' like it's TV And her toy collection, man, I ain't gon' say But I found it in the dishwasher, and I ain't okay [Chorus - sung, big and goofy, country twang] She gon' get me locked up, harboring a fugitive She the reason I'm on edge, she the reason I can't live Run off with a dude, leave the kid here with me Then come back Sunday like "hey baby, what's to eat?" Harboring a fugitive, Lord, what did I do Got a cop car in my driveway and a cat in my shoe [Bridge - spoken, slow, dramatic] And then there's Millie The cat Livin' in a house with Atlas, a whole dog That cat got more courage than the U.S. Army She used to hide in the room Now she strollin' down the hallway like she pay the bills Atlas just sits there like... "are we allowed to eat her?" No, Atlas. We are not. [Final Chorus - everybody singing, sloppy, fun] She gon' get me locked up, harboring a fugitive She the reason I'm on edge, she the reason I can't live Run off with a dude, leave the kid here with me Then come back Sunday like "hey baby, what's to eat?" Harboring a fugitive, Lord, what did I do Got a cop car in my driveway and a cat in my shoe [Outro - spoken] If you're the judge listening to this It's a song It's fiction ...mostly [End]