
DESERT DOG — THE IRON GRIPPER” AWWWW YEAH! Wack Rats are back! There’s only one man who thinks he knows EVERYTHING about hunting… DESERT DOG! The one… The only… IRON GRIPPER! Desert Dog rolls in like he owns the place, Camo on his back and confidence all over his face. Says, “Boys, watch close, I’m about to put on a show,” Then a dove flies over and he shoots twelve feet low. He knows every bird, knows every call, Knows exactly where they’re gonna fall. He’ll tell you the wind, he’ll tell you the flight, Then miss the easiest bird of the night! DESERT DOG! THE IRON GRIPPER! Talks real big, but he shoots a little slipper! Says he’s deadly, says he’s slick, But he misses more than he ever hits! IRON GRIPPER! King of the blind! Got every hunting secret known to mankind! He’ll tell you how it’s done, Then miss number six! DESERT DOG! YOU BETTER LEAD THAT BITCH! He’s got the best shotgun, got the best gear, Got enough hunting knowledge to last a hundred years. He’ll critique your shooting before your gun hits the ground, Then empty half a box and ain’t got shit to show around. “Your lead was wrong!” he says with a grin, Meanwhile there’s feathers somewhere three counties in. He says, “I would’ve had him if I’d seen him in time,” Buddy, that bird was circling you for forty-five minutes! DESERT DOG! THE IRON GRIPPER! Talks real big, shoots a little quicker! Bird comes left— He shoots right! Bird comes low— He shoots the sky! IRON GRIPPER! Don’t let him fool ya! He’s the Wack Rats’ official professional miss-er! Who knows everything? DESERT DOG! Who hits everything? NOT DESERT DOG! Who talks the biggest game? DESERT DOG! Who misses the biggest bird? DESERT DOG! Who is the legend? THE IRON GRIPPER! Who needs more shells? THE IRON GRIPPER! DESERT DOG! THE IRON GRIPPER! His mouth shoots straighter than his blaster! He’ll give you lessons, he’ll talk his shit, Then miss a bird that’s practically sitting on his dick! DESERT DOG! Legend in his mind! Misses more birds than the rest combined! But when that cooler opens And the Wack Rats unite… DESERT DOG’S STILL OUR BOY— EVEN WHEN HE CAN’T HIT SHIT! So raise your beer for Desert Dog… The greatest Iron Gripper who ever missed a bird. WACK RATS FOREVER! 🍻🕊️
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