Nothing Looked Like it was Ending

Lyrics

Verse 1] I went too far back in my camera roll, Found us younger underneath those red bar lights, Your arm around me like it belonged there, Me smiling like I knew the rest of my life. Then bicycles leaning by the water, Little pink wheels beside yours in the grass, You holding onto everything I loved Like none of it was ever built to pass. And that’s the cruelest part of looking now— There wasn’t writing on the wall, No shadow waiting in the corner, No warning hiding there at all. [Chorus] Nothing looked like it was ending, Nobody forgot to smile. We weren’t standing in the wreckage, We were living it the whole damn while. There were kids between us laughing, Christmas stockings, summer skies, Your hand around my shoulder And forever in my eyes. If I’d known those were the pictures I’d come back to when you’re gone, God, I would’ve held the moment longer. I would’ve known what I was looking at. But nothing looked like it was ending. It just looked like us. [Verse 2] There’s one of you out in the backyard, Amelia hanging over your chair, One of Dominic tucked beneath your arm Watching something like you’d always be there. There’s the four of us piled into a picture, Bare feet, blankets, tired eyes, And I can’t explain what it does to me To see a family before it knew goodbye. You weren’t standing on the outside. You were threaded through the years. Birthday signs and beach chairs, Swimming pools and souvenirs. Somewhere they stopped being photographs And became evidence to me That there really was a time When this was exactly what it seemed. [Chorus] Nothing looked like it was ending, Nobody forgot to smile. We weren’t standing in the wreckage, We were living it the whole damn while. There were kids between us laughing, Christmas stockings, summer skies, Your hand around my shoulder And forever in my eyes. If I’d known those were the pictures I’d come back to when you’re gone, God, I would’ve held the moment longer. I would’ve known what I was looking at. But nothing looked like it was ending. It just looked like us. [Verse 3] And even toward the end it fooled me— Cornfields glowing in September sun, Dressed up beside the water, Still looking like we hadn’t come undone. Your face beside mine at some crowded place, Another selfie, another night, No one looking at that photograph Would ever think we weren’t alright. Maybe that’s why I keep scrolling, Like somewhere there’ll be one Where I can finally see the exact second That forever started coming undone. But there’s no photograph of losing you. No frame where love turns cold. Just two people getting older Still standing close enough to hold. [Bridge] I wish there’d been a crooked picture, A storm cloud, a slammed door, Something I could point to now and say, There. That’s what I missed before. But the children kept on growing. The seasons changed behind our heads. We kept showing up in photographs Like people with a future left. And maybe that’s what breaks me— Not that all those years are gone. It’s knowing while we lived them I never knew I’d miss them this damn much. I thought we were making memories. I didn’t know we were making ghosts. [Final Chorus] Nothing looked like it was ending. That’s the part I can’t survive. Every picture swears we made it, Every smile says we’re still fine. There’s your arm around my children, There’s my cheek against your face, There’s a whole life frozen perfectly That time can’t put back into place. And if somebody showed that younger girl The last page from the start, I think she’d still walk straight toward you. I think she’d still hand you her heart. Because nothing looked like it was ending. Nothing told me not to trust All those ordinary forever days, All those years of being us. No last good day looked like a last one. No goodbye showed up in the frame. Nothing looked like it was ending. Until I looked back and realized it did.