
[Verse 1] Chew bought a map to find the corner store Held it upside down, walked past the door Peg packed a lunch for the fishing trip Brought two left boots and a paperclip They tried to hang a picture straight The hammer hit the wall; the frame took flight By supper time, the clock said ten They’d somehow lost the house key again [Chorus] Oh, Chew and Peg, what a pair, what a show One step forward, then nowhere to go They mean well, but the plans fall apart Two clumsy kings with a sideways start Chew and Peg, let the whole town see How not to do it—one, two, three! [Verse 2] Chew tried to bake a cake from a book Read “stir it gently,” gave it a hook Peg went to fix the kitchen sink Turned every handle—now the hallway’s pink They set out early for a county fair Took the wrong bus, wound up elsewhere Asked a farmer where the midway lay He pointed home; they’d come that way [Chorus] Oh, Chew and Peg, what a pair, what a show One step forward, then nowhere to go They mean well, but the plans fall apart Two clumsy kings with a sideways start Chew and Peg, let the whole town see How not to do it—one, two, three! [Bridge] But when the roof leaks, they bring a pan When the wheels come off, they lend a hand They may get tangled, they may get lost Still show up smiling, whatever the cost [Instrumental Break] [Final Chorus] Oh, Chew and Peg, what a pair, what a show One step forward, then nowhere to go They mean well, and they’ve got big hearts Even when every small thing starts hard Chew and Peg, let the whole town see A glorious mess—one, two, three! [Outro] Chew lost the map, Peg found the key They both got home by following me
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