
[0:00 - 0:10] Intro Instrumental (A funky, plucked slap-bass riff locks into a heavy 4/4 "four-on-the-floor" kick drum) (Hi-hat cymbals hiss rapidly on the off-beats: tsss-clap, tsss-clap) (Crisp, echoes studio handclaps enter on every single beat) [0:10 - 0:33] Verse 1 (The bassline shifts into a pulsing, continuous octave jump) There lived a certain man in Van Alstyne long ago He was old and stupid and his eyes would barely work Most people looked at him with a terror and a fear But to his dear missing toes he was a lovely dear He could drink cream soda down just like a heavy drunkard People said he lacked a brain and always was a sluggard [0:33 - 0:40] Pre-Chorus (Swirling, dramatic orchestral strings sweep upward to build tension) But he was also the kind of teacher No one would desire [0:40 - 1:03] Chorus (A bright, shimmering polyphonic synthesizer mirrors the vocal melody) Che-che-chewyman, hated by humanity Yes, his five toes really were gone Che-che-chewyman, Celina’s greatest turd machine It’s a shame that he’s still employed! [1:03 - 1:23] Instrumental Break (A rhythmic, syncopated rhythm guitar scratch takes over the mid-range) (Crowd chanting enters hot in the mix: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!) [1:23 - 1:46] Verse 2 (The strings drop back to stabbing staccato accents behind the vocals) But when his lazy ways and his absolute mistakes Soon became too obvious for anyone to take The public loud demands to replace this awful man Grew so loud they echoed all across the local land "This lazy guy has got to go!" declared his angry coworkers And the supervisors begged, "Just fire him, no shirkers!" [1:46 - 2:06] Breakdown / Rhythm Build-Up (The strings and synths vanish, leaving only the driving bassline and a cascading cowbell rhythm) (The background singers keep up the pace: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!) No doubt this Chewyman had no hidden, special charms Though he was so stupid, they just fell into his arms! [2:06 - 2:13] Pre-Chorus (The sweeping strings return, rising to a frantic peak) Then one night some men of higher standing Set a trap, they're not to blame [2:13 - 2:24] Bridge (A sudden, dramatic timpani drum roll triggers a dead stop for one beat) "Come get some marshmallows and cream soda!" they kept demanding And he really came! [2:24 - 3:00] Final Chorus & Outro (Full studio arrangement explodes back in: heavy bass, bright brass horns, and soaring synths) Che-che-chewyman, hated by humanity They put sugar in his A&W! Che-che-chewyman, Celina’s greatest turd machine He drank it all and said, "I feel fine!" Che-che-chewyman, hated by humanity They didn't quit, they wanted his head! Che-che-chewyman, hated by humanity And so they shot him till he was dead! [3:00 - 3:20] Outro Instrumental (A classic electronic drum fill runs down the toms) (The track rides out on a pulsing bass loop and a soaring string finale before a crisp cymbal crash)
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