Croa-Hero Noct

Lyrics

Beyond the mountains, across the sea, A darkness fell on CSSB. The ancient spirits bowed their heads, For Peter Reed lay near the dead. Once mighty Peter, brave and bold, A warrior with a heart of gold. He'd fought the beast of LCL, And barely crawled back out of hell. The demon came with eight great heads, And endless meetings filled with dread. A thousand logs, a million plans, Yet not one fucking helping hand. It whispered softly, "More reviews..." Then buried Peter in SOPs. He screamed, "你们都疯了!" You've all gone mad! I've had enough! Ohhh, Croajiro! Croajiro Noct! The mighty frog whom none could stop! 青蛙大王！天下无双！ The king of frogs! The strongest of all! Ohhh, Croajiro! Hear our plea! The demon marches on CSSB! 兄弟们啊！不要投降！ My brothers, stand! The battle goes on! With Peter fallen, two remained, Their shattered kingdom wrapped in chains. James Westgard raised his sacred sword, While Noct let out a thunderous roar. From every corner, hordes appeared, The incompetent and the poorly trained. They carried samples, tubes and racks, With failed IQC upon their backs. "Two-two-S!" cried James in rage, As demons stormed the chemistry stage. "ONE-THREE-S! YOU FUCKING FOOLS!" Noct struck them down with Westgard rules. The NLO began to scream, The QC charts were red and green. The demon laughed, "Just write a note!" Then tried to shove more work down throats. Ohhh, Croajiro! Croajiro Noct! His mighty balls could shatter rock! 杀！杀！杀！不要害怕！ Fight! Fight! Fight! Be not afraid! Ohhh, James Westgard! Guardian of light! Defend the QC through the night! 质量第一！不能乱来！ Quality comes first! No fucking mistakes! Beyond the battle, far away, Poor Peter lay in disarray. His sword was snapped, his spirit torn, Defeated by another Teams call at dawn. His eyes grew dim, his strength was gone, He whispered, "I cannot carry on." But high upon a mountain throne, Great Noct had heard his brother's groan. He mixed a potion, thick and bright, With dragon blood and sacred might. A drop of whisky, tears of kings, And something foul from Noct's own things. He summoned forth a rainbow bird, The strangest beast the monks had heard. A lorikeet with feathers bright, To carry strength through darkest night. "快去！快去！救彼得！" Fly quickly! Save our Peter! "Tell him his brothers fight below, And LCL can suck my toe!" Across the hills, across the rain, The little bird flew through the pain. Through thunderclouds and skies of red, While Peter lay upon his bed. Then on the horizon, colours shone, A rainbow dancing through the dawn. Two tiny wings against the sun, And Peter knew his time had come. His heart grew warm, his eyes grew wide, A tear of joy rolled down his side. "The lorikeet!" he softly cried, And felt his shattered hope revive. Ohhh, little bird! Fly through the sky! Bring Peter strength before we die! 彩虹来了！希望来了！ The rainbow comes! Our hope returns! Ohhh, little bird! So brave and bright! Bring Peter courage for the fight! 彼得兄弟！坚持住啊！ Brother Peter! Hold on, survive! The bird descended from the skies, With sacred potion of giant size. It dropped the vial upon his chest, Then took a shit upon his vest. Peter laughed for the first time in days, And drank the potion through the haze. His muscles swelled, his spirit burned, The ancient warrior had returned. But back within the CSSB, The demon fought relentlessly. It summoned flexi from the deep, While half the fucking staff were asleep. Karl proclaimed, "The rota's fair!" James screamed, "THEN WHY'S NOBODY THERE?" Noct roared, "放屁！全是废话！" Bullshit! Nothing but bullshit! A thousand emails filled the air, A hundred meetings, none went anywhere. The demon grew with each new plan, And Noct punched through another action log again. Ohhh, Croajiro! Croajiro Noct! The mighty frog whom none could stop! 战斗到底！永不投降！ Fight to the end! Never surrender! Ohhh, James Westgard! Stand your ground! The hordes of chaos gather round! 兄弟同心！力量无穷！ Brothers united! Our strength knows no bounds! The temple drums began to fade, Their final stand was being made. James held the charts, Noct held the gate, Two weary warriors against their fate. No managers came, no help arrived, Yet somehow both remained alive. Their battle cries shook heaven's height, As LCL consumed the night. And somewhere far beyond the rain, Peter rose to fight again. His rainbow messenger flew away, Towards the warriors holding the fray. "兄弟们！我回来了！" My brothers! I am coming home! The ancient mountains shook with might, But Peter had not yet joined the fight. The demon roared, the heavens cried, As James and Noct stood side by side. No manager near, no end in sight, Still holding back the endless blight. And though their strength was running dry, A rainbow shimmered in the sky. For Peter lived, and hope burned bright, While James and Croajiro Noct... Fought... Through... The night. 青蛙大王！永不投降！ CROAAAAAAAAK!