What's Inside the Minge Mask?

Epic comedic Disney-style animated villain musical, theatrical Broadway showstopper. Eccentric, wildly enthusiastic Chinese male factory salesman singing in Chinese-accented English, with occasional authentic Mandarin phrases. Begin slowly with a mysterious, softly spoken sales pitch over delicate guzheng and erhu, gradually building into a hilarious, chaotic musical advertisement. Traditional Chinese pipa, gongs, war drums and flutes mixed with sweeping orchestral strings, playful brass and magical theatrical melodies. Mischievous spoken dialogue, exaggerated operatic vocals, rapid-fire sales pitches, dramatic pauses and manic laughter. Huge catchy choruses with a powerful backing choir chanting 'MINGE MASK!' Increasingly ridiculous energy, sudden tempo changes, booming percussion and explosive orchestral crescendos. Grand triumphant finale with crashing gongs, enormous choir and an absurdly long operatic final note. Clear vocals, theatrical comedy, not pop or rap.

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Lyrics

哈哈哈哈……欢迎光临…… My friend… my dear, dear friend… Come closer… I have something very special for you… A secret… from the ancient factory… A miracle… for your face… and perhaps… somewhere else… MINGE MASK! You had a laser? Your skin is red? You look like you've been freshly bred! But don't you worry, don't you cry, I've got a mask that money can buy! From ancient lands, a secret recipe, Approved by absolutely nobody! Five thousand years of beauty tricks, And seventeen mysterious chemicals mixed! 美丽！美丽！ Beautiful skin! The greatest business you've ever been in! A little cleanser, a wipe or two, And now I've got a deal for YOU! MINGE MASK! MINGE MASK! A miracle in every pack! For your face or your behind, Read the label? NEVER MIND! MINGE MASK! MINGE MASK! Don't you dare ask what is inside! Cleanser! Wipes! The finest creams! WELCOME TO YOUR CHINESE DREAM! One wipe! Two wipes! Skin so bright! Three wipes? You might glow at night! We make them cheap! We sell them dear! The factory only opened here last year! Your cousin came for something small, Now he's buying bloody all! 朋友啊，我的朋友…… My friend… believe in me… One little mask… one little dream… One enormous profit scheme… 买一送一！ BUY ONE, GET ONE! MINGE MASK! MINGE MASK! Ten thousand boxes, that's the task! No refunds and no guarantees! Just ancient Chinese mysteries! MINGE MASK! MINGE MASK! The finest thing we've ever packed! From the factory to the British street, A thousand minges, fresh and sweet! YOU SHALL BECOME… THE KIIIIIIIING… OF MIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE! 不退款！ NO REFUNDS! 哈哈哈哈哈哈！ THANK YOU, MY FRIEND! YOUR MONEY IS NOW OUR MONEY! 再见！再见！

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