The Federal Strumpet Playing Cat

Lyrics

The Federal Cat [Spoken Intro] California Kyle came through Tuesday like he already knew the answer. Didn’t ask for chicken. Didn’t ask for tea. Didn’t ask what Christina was doing to the salt shaker. He just looked around the room like somebody had moved something that belonged exactly where he left it. Then he said: Where is the cat? [Pause] Nobody laughed. [Verse 1] Kyle got a rifle and a weathered coat Half a map folded in a cigarette note Walked through the diner like a warrant with shoes Looking for a cat with federal news Mac said, “Sit down, boy, your chicken gets cold” Kyle said, “That cat knows something old” Christina smiled with a fork in her teeth Said, “Depends what you mean by underneath” Caleb froze with his tea halfway Miss Mae turned the radio down that day Frank dropped a haddock flat on the mat Kyle looked once and said: Where is the cat? [Chorus] The Federal Cat Nobody knows where he’s at One eye on the county One paw on the map The Federal Cat Don’t ask Kyle why If Kyle wants the cat Then we watch the sky We don’t want the cat Because we know the cat We want the cat Because Kyle wants the cat Where is the cat? [Verse 2] Tabby in shades by a government van Left three paw prints and a diagram One by the dumpster, one by the well One in a folder marked DO NOT TELL Caleb said, “Mac, is this part of the test?” Mac said, “Boy, I was trying to digest” Christina whispered, “I saw him last night” Kyle said, “Where?” She said, “Depends on the light” Then the fryer cut out The jukebox went black Something small moved by the alley out back Kyle stood up slow Pulled his coat down flat Nice guy. Just looking for the cat. [Chorus] The Federal Cat Nobody knows where he’s at One eye on the county One paw on the map The Federal Cat Don’t ask Kyle why If Kyle wants the cat Then we watch the sky We don’t want the cat Because we know the cat We want the cat Because Kyle wants the cat Where is the cat? [Bridge — spoken, low] Undeniable calculations with implausible intent. Implausible calculations with undeniable intent. [Pause] Where is the cat? [Verse 3] Rumor said Memphis Rumor said Rome Rumor said sleeping in a federal home Rumor said moonlight Rumor said Maine Rumor said riding on a southbound train Rumor said nothing Kyle said less That’s when everybody started to guess And once you start guessing you don’t go back Curiosity gets you chasing the cat. [Breakdown] Kyle ain’t everywhere. That’s the problem. The cat might be. But Kyle? Kyle is somewhere. And wherever Kyle is— That’s where we want to be. [Heavy Chorus] THE FEDERAL CAT No collar No tag No badge No flag No file No trace Just Kyle In the wrong damn place THE FEDERAL CAT Somebody knows Somebody saw Somebody signed Something into law And Kyle keeps asking Like he already knows: WHERE IS THE CAT? [Outro] Mac locked the diner at quarter past ten Christina disappeared and came back again Caleb checked twice underneath his hat Kyle stood outside. Still looking. Nice guy. Just looking for the cat. [Whisper] Where is the cat?