Old Lady Fight

Lyrics

[Intro] Who said the book club had to sit? Mild little meeting—then somebody talked slick! [Verse 1] Marlene brought a casserole, Denise brought a grudge, One side-eye landed and the whole room judged. Pearls on, purse down, “I’m not here to play,” Then she squared up by the punch bowl tray. [Pre-Chorus] Bingo cards flying, somebody yelled, “Behave!” The hostess rang a spoon like a tiny referee. [Chorus] Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Two-step shuffle, everybody stand! “Not my good slacks!” “Don’t touch my hair!” They’re throwing elbows at the folding-chair fair. Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Sugar-free snacks in the battle plans! They’ll hug it out when the winner is crowned— But first, somebody’s knitting needles down! [Verse 2] Gladys said, “Your potluck dip is dry,” Evelyn gasped like the church bells cried. One had a walker, one had a cane, They both moved quick when they heard “meringue.” [Pre-Chorus] The DJ dropped the beat; they both found their knees, Then spun in a circle with alarming ease. [Chorus] Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Two-step shuffle, everybody stand! “Not my good slacks!” “Don’t touch my hair!” They’re throwing elbows at the folding-chair fair. Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Sugar-free snacks in the battle plans! They’ll hug it out when the winner is crowned— But first, somebody’s knitting needles down! [Bridge] “Ladies, please!”—“She started it!” “Your casserole’s bland!”—“You salted it!” Then one said, “Who wants pie?” Both stopped mid-swing: “What kind?” [Final Chorus] Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Now they’re line-dancing, taking command! “Save me a seat!” “Pass the éclairs!” They’re trading recipes and folding chairs. Old lady fight, throwin’ hands— Best little feud in the whole town band! They’ll hug it out, take a bow, settle down— Then argue who gets to wear the crown! [Outro] Bingo at six, don’t be late— Bring your own dessert and negotiate!