Old Lady Fight

Lyrics

[Intro] Who brought the folding chairs? Nobody? Good. [Verse 1] Marlene wore her Sunday shoes to the corner-store debate Said, “You moved my garden gnome”—now the whole block’s running late She set her purse down gently, took her glasses off with care Then said, “I’m sixty-two, sweetheart. I can still get down a stair.” [Pre-Chorus] One finger point, one eyebrow raised Everybody’s phones are up, the neighbors clear the way She said, “I’m not here for drama, I’m here to make it right” Then rolled her sleeves up like it’s bingo night [Chorus] Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Not a scratch, just a lecture and a firm game plan Old lady fight—take a step, take a stand She’ll roast your whole outfit, then ask if you’ve eaten, ma’am Hey! (Hey!) Back it up, back it up Hey! (Hey!) She’s got snacks in her clutch Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Then they hug by the mailbox like, “We’re still friends, Jan!” [Verse 2] She brought a referee whistle and a tin of lemon drops Said, “We settle this like grown-ups, no one’s calling any cops” Her opponent swung a tote bag full of coupons and receipts Marlene blocked it with a casserole and shuffled to the beat [Pre-Chorus] One finger point, one eyebrow raised The whole block’s chanting while the garden gnome gets saved She said, “We’re not too old to have a little fun tonight” Then fixed her hem and asked who wants a bite [Chorus] Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Not a scratch, just a lecture and a firm game plan Old lady fight—take a step, take a stand She’ll roast your whole outfit, then ask if you’ve eaten, ma’am Hey! (Hey!) Back it up, back it up Hey! (Hey!) She’s got snacks in her clutch Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Then they hug by the mailbox like, “We’re still friends, Jan!” [Bridge] “Your begonias crossed the line.” “Your gnome was blocking mine.” “Let’s call it even, have some pie.” “Fine—but you’re bringing vanilla this time.” [Final Chorus] Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Two queens on the sidewalk with a neighborhood band Old lady fight—take a step, take a stand Then they trade their best recipes and wave to the van Hey! (Hey!) Back it up, back it up Hey! (Hey!) More snacks in the clutch Old lady fight—throwin’ hands, throwin’ hands Everybody’s invited—bring a plate, bring a friend! [Outro] Marlene won the argument. Jan won the pie. Everybody went home happy.